I'm Already Lost!
Even I have no guts to say I'm still loving you... | Free verse poem by A Shayens Abran
Did you know…?
It’s been this long,
I always start my days only to pray for you
Wish you’re always healthy and find happiness there
Before your memories forget me deeper
Before your solitude leave me any further
Did you know…?
I could never forget you
Get rid of your dazzling shadows
I still adore you…
With all my heart,
A heart that has no guts anymore…!
Did you know…?
I still have my wallpaper with your photo
You’re the one I look up to stare at every night
Never bored me to adore those hazel eyes,
That beautiful hair,
That red cherry lips…
If only you knew…
How big I feel this shame…!
How big my regret…!
Letting go of you because of my selfishness…!
Your love for me now,
Buried in the distance of your heart….
I’ve never expected you to miss and have a longing
This pitiful existence of mine…
I just want…when you see me,
Whenever, wherever….
Your heart will say like this;
“This is the man who fell in love with me”
“This man will always adore me”
That’s how I try to cheer myself up,
Dispel my guilt…!
Do you know…?
I’m the one who always puts those flowers,
And write a love note on the pane
I am the one who will always watch over you
Enjoying your beauty from my dark side…
Maybe you’ll never know…
How easy you are to admire!
Maybe you’ll never realize
How easy you are to be loved!
And it’s not easy to forget…!
Let me be your devotee
The one who will always adore you
The one who will always stalk you
Ignore my feelings
Just remember my presence…
I won’t be heartbroken though I could never touch you again!
Because only with my longing feelings,
Deep in you, I’m keeping myself alive
Then only with the traces of your heart,
There is still a reason for me to live this life
Forever I could only adore you
Forever I could only miss you
That I still love you…
Oh my poor heart!
Is this the name of love alone that I’m feeling?
No courage to say…
I still love this precious hazel eyes girl….
Even if you have deep dried the last love for me…
I sincerely accept it
I have lost all hope,
That you would come back to my arms,
And hug this coward guy
But now…
I’m just wishing you open your window
And find another fresh flower
From your secret admirer…
And really appreciate the share! :-)
Image source: Tharas Chernus via Unsplash
